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Novice Karate Group (ages 8 & up)

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8. Sorry, Not Sorry



I can see very clearly that I have participated in and allowed an uncomfortable workplace for women. For this I am deeply ashamed and so very sorry. We have come to a reckoning point in the history of male bosses behaving badly, and I believe in this reckoning and I stand behind it. I understand that I cannot right the past wrongs, and at the same time, I take full responsibility for all of my actions.[95]




8. Sorry, Not Sorry



I recently began a game with a friend of mine. Each time we catch the other apologizing unnecessarily, we contribute a dollar to a coffee can. After 24 hours, I was $13 poorer. And for that, I was certainly sorry!


A study published in the journal Frontiers of Psychology even found that saying "I'm sorry" when intentionally rejecting someone (i.e., cancelling plans, breaking up with someone) could cause the other person to "feel worse, or that they have to forgive the rejecter before they are ready," says Gili Freedman, one of the study's authors.


The first step here is to assess your own behaviors and tendencies. Are you really someone who apologizes way too much? Knowing so will help you to carefully observe a situation before immediately blurting our the words "I'm sorry."


Saying "no" can be awkward and uncomfortable for some, but it can be a very effective way to protect your time. If you're swamped at work and a colleague asks for help, you don't need to be sorry for not chipping in. If you can't make it to happy hour because you made plans prior to knowing, say, "I can't make it. Maybe next time!"


As you're composing an email, the Just Not Sorry plugin will notify you each time you use a word or phrase that undermine your message (i.e., "I'm sorry," "I'm no expert, but..."). You can also hover your mouse over the underlined words for a bite-sized explanation of how they might make people think less of you.


As Juliana Breines, a professor of behavioral science at the University of Rhode Island, explained in a Psychology Today column, some types of apologies can encourage forgiveness, repair relationships and dissolve hostility. But they aren't easy to come by and require more than just saying "I'm sorry": the person apologizing must go the extra mile and express genuine remorse or offer to make amends.


After the lockdown is over and everyone's back in the gym, Zig finds Maya and says he was so worried but Maya says she has to get back on stage but Zig says he'll help, Maya asks if he liked it when him and Zoë fooled around, Zig says he's sorry but don't answer the question, Maya says so what? and Zig realizes that saying sorry can't fix things and walks away. Maya finds Grace and forgives her before hugging her. 041b061a72


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